The Dorkiest Post Ever; or How Querying is Like the Mario Bros.

This is my 200th post! *waits for confetti* Ah, there it is. It's been up there a while. Hopefully the dog will be nice enough to clean that up for me later.

So, you read the title right. I was on Facebook the other day and my dear friend Beckah-Rah's new avitar made me laugh. It was one of those Very Demotivational posters that said "SLUSHPILE: Somewhere in there is the perfect manuscript. For another agent."

And that reminded me of something else:

Mother****. SERIOUSLY?! A rejection?

Replace Mario with Manuscript, Princess with Agent/Publisher, and Castle with Agency/Publishing house, and you have querying.

For those who have never played Mario, first of all, shame on you. It's awesome. Second of all, the basic story is this:

Mario's gotta save the princess from a giant fire-breathing turtle, but it takes multiple castles. Aaaaaaaand scene.

Mario goes through different levels, each more difficult than the last. He has to face trials and tribulations (sometimes under water, even), eeeeeeevil enemies and sometimes man-eating plants just to get to the castle.

So do we.

See, there's a point to my inane ramblings sometimes.

The way I see it in my strange way of seeing things (and the fact that I played Mario religiously as a child), we writers send our manuscripts out into a perilous world frought with dangers. But we're the ones who ultimately feel the wounds of rejection. We have to squash goomba heads and koopa troopers, stay out of the way of Bullet Bills and those weird fireball shooting plants. It's a perilous world for a writer because it's all IN OUR HEADS. Our fears, our doubts, the thoughts of  "this agent has my book and hasn't said anything because she's trying to find the nicest way of saying my book sucks." OK, maybe not so much the last one, but still. We send query after query only to get the same message: Not for me, but thanks anyway. Your agent is in another agency.

So...do we give up? I mean, Mario had to go through like, what, 12 castles to get to the princess or something?  In NES video game time that is a LOT of levels, especially when you can't save your game and pick up in the same spot. Mario keeps trudging on, pounding blocks, crushing goombas, and he eventually, with enough persistence from the player, reaches his goal. We can do the same. We have the power to crush goomba heads and pound blocks. We just have to be willing to put in the time and effort it takes to reach our end goal.

But Lex, you might say, what about self-publishing? WELL. There's a whole different Mario metaphor in that one. On the outside, self-pub might seem like an easy way to getting your book out there, and in the beginning it is. However, where before we were looking at agent/publisher, we're now looking at consumers, websites, bloggers, book reviews, and promotion promotion promotion. Authors pubbed through "traditional" means have some backing from their publishers, but in the grand scheme of things, unless you're the next JK Rowling or Stephenie Meyer, they don't get that much. The other day, Elana Johnson had a great post about marketing and promoting books. Yes, authors must do some of their own promoting. Self-published authors do all of their own promoting. Twitter bombs, Facebook pages, contests, billboards, Firestone blimps (ok, so maybe not the last two), you name it, a self-pubbed author tries it. Like Phoenix said the other day, though, it's hard to find the balance between good self-promotion and obnoxious self-promotion (paraphrased). These balances are hard to come by and come with their own goombas and Koopa troopers like low sales and faltering promotional campaigns. If you're not a natural salesperson, then going the self-publishing route might be something you want to hold off on until you've developed a reasonable business acumen. Because at the end of the day, this is a business.

So, peeps, here's what I would like to know. What makes you more likely to buy a book? Snazzy trailers, an awesome cover, blurbs from established authors? How about from a marketing standpoint. Do you like trading cards, bookmarks, magnets, etc? Or is there something else you'd rather see?

Please share your ideas in the comments! Thanks!

first date jitters

well, not that kind of first date. i will never have another first date (hopefully, anyway). no, this is an actual post about part of the writing process that scares the bejeezus out of me--querying.

i've queried twice already and twice i was rejected. my first query was to nathan bransford simply because he replies really fast and i wanted to get that first one out of the way. after that, i thought i'd be okay. kinda like in school when you first ask that cute boy/girl to dance after spending half the night working up the nerve only to be rejected. the idea of rejection becomes palatable at least, but the action rejection still stings. and then you get nervous. scared. you think that everyone's going to keep rejecting you, until you find the one who says "yes."

landing an agent is a LOT like dating, i've discovered. currently, i'm planning first dates for about 42 agents. i want to get the mood right, say all the correct things, stroke a few egos (at least of the ones about whom i can find more personal information). i need to package my manuscript to their needs, to make them more interested. hopefully ask for a second date (partial), or a third date (full). and then we can slowly slip into the ease of relationship. yes, there will probably be a few arguments here and there when i don't want to cut an entire chapter or rewrite the entire thing from the perspective of a dust mite--it's early, leave me be--, but there are also the rewarding times. like the book getting sold. it'll be nice to know that my agent has my back when trying to sell the book, when going through contract negotiations, etc. yeah. 'twill be nice indeed.

but only if i can get over these first date jitters. rewriting the query is like changing outfits. do i want to wear something that accents my curves or makes my eyes pop? what jewelry? what makeup? which shoes? do i focus on the character's inner struggles or the conflict in the big picture? should i bring romance elements in? is it punctuated correctly? are there any stupid errors? did i address it to the proper agent? cause let's face it. getting your date's name wrong = BAD.

i'm still trying to pick the right outfit. i'm not necessarily afraid of the idea of rejection. it's the actual rejection i'm not so thrilled about.

contest awesomeness!!!

PEEPS! Chuck @ Guide to Literary Agents has brought us a new awesome contest. Unfortunately, I suck at the whole keeping-up-with-stuff thing, so I'm posting this a little late, but it's okay. The contest runs through Wednesday and the three top winners will receive a critique of their first 10 pgs from super-awesome agent Roseanne Wells from Marianne Strong literary agency AND a free one-yr subscription to WritersMarket.com. Oh, yes. DEFINITELY worth checking into!

The deadline is WEDNESDAY, so hurry up!

Thank me later :-D

teaching myself to insert links properly!

after yesterday's brain meltdown (i feel better, though. that counts for something), i figured that i would be helpful to everyone.

i've been slogging around the internet for some time now, gathering as much information as i can about publishing/agenting/querying and several other -ings, and i've found some extremely helpful sites along the way. for anyone who finds this and has questions or is looking for feedback, there are quite a few sites around the interwebs and so far, everyone i've encountered has been incredibly helpful, supportive, and all-around awesome.

most of these sites are actually blogs i follow through blogger. i have a lot of agents, agencies, and authors on my dashboard, but i want to highlight a few of them because they are the ones who have posted some of the most helpful information i've found or have helped me personally.

first and foremost, i have to send a shout out to my lovely ladies in cleveland, lisa and laura. not only are they hilarious, but they also have some incredibly helpful posts, including their new "ask LiLa" where you can email them a question and they'll answer it (just like it sounds). i emailed them a query question and they got someone completely amazing to answer it with wonderful advice. they're fun, easy to connect with, and extremely friendly. go check them out when you have the time.

tied with lisa and laura is the bransford blog, which i've mentioned more than once. nathan is an agent living out in cali, and his blog is one of the most comprehensive everything-you-need-to-know sites around. plus, he has a FORUM (which has captivated my attention for many many hours) where you can also ask him questions, or post your query for critiques (mine was obliterated, which was AWESOME), or talk about writing and publishing in general. there are a lot of people on the forums who have helpful advice and tips, lovely singing voices, and great feedback. for the writer who is beginning the entire writing process or the one who's trying to sell his first novel, this one's a great site.

next is the query shark. janet reid has been in the business for a long time, and both her personal blog and query shark blog have some helpful advice and tips as well as some pretty hilarious links. she's great. unless you're the one she's chewing up ;-)

and then there's always the lovely miss snark. unfortunately, she no longer blogs, but the site is still up and still housing great writing advice ranging from conception of your idea to querying and the mysteries of landing an agent. she is most excellent.

both querytracker's website and blog are great. the website has forums, too (which i discovered today), and it's also the greatest way for organization when you actually start building that list of agents to query. i know i've said it before, but i'll continue to shout it from the rooftops: "QUERYTRACKER.NET IS SUUUUUUUPER!!!!!!!!!!!" you not only get the organizing and the forums, you get all the information you'll need on the agent, including website, client list, accepted genres, and comments from users who have already taken the query plunge. incredi-helpful.

also, be sure to check out elana johnson's personal blog. she's a contributor to querytracker's blog, and she's hosting a contest in conjunction with shelli johannes this week that has all kinds of goodness attached to it. even if you don't write in the genres that these two wonderful ladies do, you'll still find some GREAT advice. the writing world is virtually the same throughout. you won't be disappointed. trust me.

there are more in ye olde dashboard that you're more than welcome to peruse, but those are my personal favorites and the ones i follow most diligently.

oh, and this one.

what a difference *almost* a decade makes...

it seems that i'm *finally* getting some familial support for this whole book-writing thing i'm doing.

my parents are thrilled that i'm pursuing an agent. my dad hasn't read a single word of my manuscript, and my mom hasn't read anything in a while, but they have faith in me because i'm their little girl and because this is my dream.

my sister told me that she's proud of me (years earlier, she told me i'd be living in a box if i pursued this) and nearly gave me a heart attack. tonight she told me that she's excited for me.

i know that the failure rate is about 99.9%. but i've never been good at doing things that are easy. i'm one of those silly people who realized that life is too short not to do what you love, and what i love is writing, hands down. so rather than work a job i hate in order to make money, i'm working a job i love that pays me nothing but allows me a LOT of writing/planning/reading/plotting time. if not for my current job, i still wouldn't be finished with my manuscript, let alone working on "final" edits (though no edit is truly "final" right?) and writing query letters.

i hatched the original concept for my manuscript when i was sixteen. i fell in love with the island of dr. moreau by wells and was so intrigued by the idea of it, but i wondered what it'd be like from the POV of an experiment. obviously, they had similar sensibilities as their human masters and they had their own hierarchies. but then the idea burst into my brain after a few days of mulling it over. dima was born, painstakingly. the skeleton outline formed in my brain. and then 4 years later, i actually got it right. a few times in that 4 years, i wanted to scrap the entire thing and focus on something else. a lot of ideas were swimming around in my brain, but dima was always at the front of that. i'd written about 1/3 of the book before i realized that i was totally wrong. and then another few rewrites showed me who my antagonist truly was. now, eight years later, i'm finally giving it the attention and love it deserves and actually feeling confident enough to show it to agents.

but don't get me wrong. while it's been a labor of love (and insanity), it's not my baby. it's one of many worlds in my head that i've tried to give life to, but i'm not in love with my words. i'm still cutting and adding and cutting some more, trying to view them as objectively as possible, wondering if i can make parts clearer, or deeper, or more concise. my AP english teacher taught me not to love my words (in fact, she made me despise words that year) but to nurture them and make them meaningful and contextual. she forced me to dig as deeply in myself as i could and come up with something better. always better. and honestly, i credit her with getting me to this point. without her tormenting me and bringing me to tears with nearly every friggin' paper, until i developed a thick enough skin and the skill set to avoid being ripped apart, i wouldn't have written what i've written, and i wouldn't know that i could do better. so yes. because of her, i've dug as deeply into myself as i could to bring out this labor of love and polish it into something meaningful (to me, at least) and give it depth. and now i feel as confident as i did when i handed something in to her that i knew would bring back an A. THAT is how i know i'm ready.

and as soon as i land an agent, i'm telling her.

gr arg!

stupid websense blocking the bransford blog! i need a way to bust my boredom for the next twenty minutes! ah well. this might help.

i spent most of the night hacking away at the old manny, trying to whittle its girth down to something a little easier to swallow. i hacked off about 1000 words, which made me feel loads better. got rid of some parts that i just didn't like, reworded some others, and so far, i'm feeling better about the entire product. there are more moments of "wow, that's actually good" than "what was i thinking when i wrote that?!" definitely a confidence boost.

i need to get this "last" revision done, darnit! i want to start querying next month because i need goals. and i need to get free from this project so i can work on another one. i've got three new ideas i want to develop into...something useful, but my brain just isn't feeling free at the moment. there's still too much clutter, worry, and anticipation. i just need to figure out how to make each agent feel special. because they are. the more blogs i read from them, the more i like them. i follow lucienne diver on livejournal, and she just cracks me up. i'd LOOOOVE to be able to work with her at some point. nathan's awesome, janet reid is awesome, agent kristin and jennifer jackson rock. i love it. agents are people too... i just hope that one of them likes me...