Well, since I'm here...

I think that horror convention was a great thing. Not only because of everything in the previous post (which still makes me giddy, btw), but because it left me with a feeling that things are actually going to look up. After all the negativity--some of it self-imposed, yes--that I've endured over the last few months, the consistent rejections, the battering of my ego, etc., the fact that something as seemingly insignificant (in the grand scheme of things) as meeting all those fabulous people and sort of talking to Julian has helped me recenter myself and actually want to work on things. Even though I had a massive crisis moment while reading The Windup Girl the other day that nearly resulted in deleting all of my files and just stopping then and there, the fact that something I panicked about writing and really had no faith in myself about writing has been well received by my peers who are undoubtedly much better writers than I am had assisted in the confidence department. Sometimes I feel completely inadequate, sometimes I feel like nothing I work on will be good enough. Sometimes I feel like a talentless hack who has no future in writing.

But I won't give it up for anything. Because I'm a MUCH better writer than I was when I started. Better than I was even last year. It's a growth process, a learning process. And the most important lesson to learn is that we all have unique voices, viewpoints, and styles. Just because I don't write the same way as Paolo Bacigalupi or Anne Rice doesn't mean that my words don't have merit or that my ideas don't have potential. It just means that I have a different way of looking at things, and that's fabulous. The world already has Anne Rice and Paolo Bacigalupi. It doesn't need another one. I can learn from them, but it's still my voice.

Writers go through a lot of confidence ups and downs. We're riding high one minute, and then a rejection comes in that steals our thunder. Or a less-than-kind critique deflates our ego. Or we just wake one day with the panic that we're fooling ourselves. I know I'm not the only one who endures these doubts. All creative people have them, and anyone who says otherwise is either fooling himself or delusional.

But the thing to remember about creative pursuits is that perseverance is key. Some actors wait their entire careers to have that breakout role *Mickey Roarke anyone?* Some authors write 4, 5, 6, 50 books before they have that bestseller. Some musicians play in bars until their 30 before they hit it big *John Mellancamp*. But do you give up? No. One of the things I took away from the convention was that regardless of how many people are clamoring to meet you *or not*, you keep doing what you love because you LOVE it and you can't imagine doing anything else. Hone your craft. Take classes if you can. Attend seminars if you can. Befriend other writers. Learn from them as they learn from you. It's important to persevere.

Whew!

First off, welcome to mysterious follower #14! I say mysterious because my blogger is not showing me my followers (now my "peeps"). So, Mysterious #14, I hope that you and everyone else will find something of worth on here.

OK, on to my regularly scheduled posting.

Lots of excitement going on! So many of my QT peeps are making their ways through the muck known as querying to reach the golden land of REPRESENTATION! That, my friends, is incredibly exciting, and also incredibly inspiring for those of us still trudging through the query swamp. Congrats again to Em, Jessica, and everyone else who got some sort of deal. Can't wait to read those books!

All right, peeps. For the writers following me, I wanted to point you in the direction of one of the best ways I've found to learn about upcoming contests:

C. Hope Clark's newsletters. To sign up, go to her blog and subscribe. That easy!

Some of you might be wondering why bother to enter contests. I did too, to be quite honest. But I ant to be able to have some credits to my name when approaching agents/publishers, and entering contests is one of the best ways to accomplish that. Being held up against dozens, possibly hundreds, of other writers and coming out at least top 3 is a pretty big deal. Some contests publish anthologies containing the winning entries. Some pay cash prizes. The important thing is that you're putting yourself out there. In a way, it's like marketing yourself.

And it helps with confidence, too. Even if you don't win, you still put your best foot forward. Most people don't have the courage to do that.

For instance, I entered my query in a contest on the disgruntled bear blog for the chance to win a 30 page critique from Ms. Bear herself. For the voting, my query was stacked against 10 others, and in the end, my query received 5 votes out of 332 (that's about .02%, just for reference). As I followed the voting, and as it became more and more clear that I was NOT winning, I consistently re-evaluated myself, my writing, my reason for subjecting myself to failure over and over again, and I eventually settled on the fact that 5 people would want to read MY book. Even though I felt that the other entrants were more talented (Jennifer, mentioned above, was one of them) or that they had much better stories, at least 5 people whom I have never met wanted to read my book over theirs. And now I feel pretty damn good about the whole thing.

You see, the one thing that separates Authors and Writers is perseverance. And IMHO, entering contests builds that. As long as your perspective remains positive.

So, go, my writers. Enter contests. Get your name into the world somehow. If you win or not, you're still working to get your foot in the door. And as always, I wish you success, regardless of your endeavors.

Lex