13 September 2011

Not so gentlemanly callers.

Y'all know how much I enjoy telling my hotel stories. I have two fabulous ones for you today. A couple of...interesting...phone calls.

So Friday night, my coworker answered the phone. On the other end was the completely hammered father of an 18-year-old girl. My coworker will be "A" and the caller will be "C."

C: A! Do you know my wife [first name]???

A: No, sir, I don't.

C: Are you sure?????

A: Yeah, I'm sure.

C: Really? The name [First name, Last name] doesn't ring a bell?

A: No sir, it doesn't.

C: Well that's okay. I just need someone to talk to me. I'm really drunk right now.

A: Um, well, I'm at work, so I can't really chat...

C: [irritated] Well fine! I'll just call my mom then! You're an asshole!"

A: [hangs up]

Yeah, dude. Go call your mom. Every parent wants to talk to her drunk child. Awesome.

But that's not all! Oh no. I have to share what happened with MY BOSS. Oh, this one's great. Boss will be "B" and caller will be "H" because HE was HORNY. Oh, it never fails to amuse....

B: Thank you for calling [hotel] this is, B. How may I assist you?

H: Hey, B! How are you today?

B: I'm doing well, sir, thank you. How are you?

H: Well, B, I actually have a BIG favor to ask you.

B: Okay....

H: You see, I'm horny. Think you can help me out with that?

B: Um, no thanks. Have a great day! [click]

So yes, next time you have unwanted advances from a horny person, just say, "No thanks! Have a great day." Politeness will confuse them and kill their buzz.


Phoenix Sullivan said...

Hehe. Boys will be little boys, won't they?

I remember once when I was a vet tech fielding a call from a guy who claimed he'd just had sex with his St. Bernard and should he be concerned he might have hurt her. My reply: "No sir. I'm pretty sure YOU couldn't have come close to hurting her."

All of which are examples of why our schools are in trouble. They just don't teach the stuff you need to handle yourself in the real world.

Pippa Jay said...

I'm not sure whether to laugh or run screaming and hide?! :-P

Lisa Fox said...

Ahhh, service industry. I do not miss it one bit. Though it is a constant source of entertainment if you can find a way to smile through the tears and open-mouth astonishment.

julie fedderson said...

I'm quite surprised cold calling someone to say you're horny didn't work. Seems logical enough. By the way, I gave you some blog lovin', so in a way I'm contacting you to tell you my blog is horny. Have a great day!

Landra said...

Yowza! I've never really had those types of calls at work before. But I'm not surprised it happens.
Everyone wants a little attention from time to time.
I think my strangest one is when someone started texting me asking me what I was wearing and if I still wanted to meet. Then came the text..."why haven't you called me".
I didn't bother to respond and oddly enough they didn't try to call me.

lexcade said...

@Phoenix, Um....wow... That's...just wow. Sometimes you can only shake your head and wonder...

@Pippa, That's me every day, but I don't always get these callers. Just that one guy who wanted to know if I'd talk to him while he was naked...

@Lisa, I'm intending to put together a book of funny/weird stories from my job. Cuz they're too priceless not to share.

@Julie, I know, right? I was so gonna try that. My blog appreciates your sweet luvins and wants to luv your blog, too ;)

@Landra, LOL don't you just LOVE when people do that? I always wonder if they're just messin' and laughing with their friends or if they're actually serious. I always hope for the former.