learning to be a real writer

i just read rachelle gardner's post and i'm thinking about my WIP and my new project and my head is spinning. and to think, if i were in that real world, i'd be marketing on top of it. i don't know if i'm just tired or if i'm sick *again* of editing, but i do know that this would be the best ever time to find some good beta readers. i love my mom, but she'll never get around to it.

the sad thing is that, while other people have significant others or family members or close friends to do this, i don't have anyone in my immediate vicinity. i have overseas friends on my writing site whom i've never met, who have been with me for almost a decade while i built this book. i have whined and complained to my mom about it, but that's the extent of it. my significant other has minimum interest because he's not really a reader. i don't know many people who enjoy SF. so i'm kinda stuck. and my eyes have been over it so much that i'm just seeing words and losing Dima's voice.

i know that there's a site to hook you up with partners, and it was on someone's blog the other day... i guess i'll have to sift through the last few entries and see if i can find it again. i need someone else's eyes on this thing before i hack it to death...

in the meantime, i'll be playing in my fantasy book. i finally have character motivations figured out. now i just need to find the point at which it all comes together.

my only hesitation with this is that i'm afraid some of the terminology will become cumbersome. i know that fantasy writers like s.l. farrell and george r.r. martin use loads of different terminology in their books, and that some names are a little taxing (no offense, i know it's all about world-building; names are incredibly important), but i fret. because i'm not the genius that either of them is, so i get nervous. i guess my penwrights friends will tell me if it's annoying.

ugh. it's distressing to be a writer sometimes...

so, you tell me. what do you do for beta readers? i'm sure a lot of you are in writers' groups, but unfortunately, my job takes away a huge chunk of daylight and my hours are never consistent (i know, excuses excuses). any suggestions?

taking a break from stalking my agent choices via their clients. finding a lack of need to write complete sentences. disturbed by being unable to find anything that resembles what i'm writing (not like i want there to be a copy, but even the subject matter, you know...). cross-mutation must be out. must have missed the boat on that one. maybe i can stage a comeback? nah. i'm not quite that good. am i alone in thinking that everything i write sucks?

at least my GM ordered dinner for us... that kicks azz.