Welcome to this week's edition of Six Sentence Sunday! I'm glad I get to spend it with y'all, and glad that y'all chose to spend some of your time with me. Your comments make me smile.
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My nose told me Sylvia was nearby; Lorenzo, however, wasn’t, and instead of the expected sense of relief, disappointment crawled through me like a turtle, covering every part of me. He’d saved me, like Jasper had wanted to, and I wanted to thank him. Most of all, he confirmed that somewhere locked inside me was a woman named Janelle, a woman who deserved to understand her fate.
My nose told me Sylvia was nearby; Lorenzo, however, wasn’t, and instead of the expected sense of relief, disappointment crawled through me like a turtle, covering every part of me. He’d saved me, like Jasper had wanted to, and I wanted to thank him. Most of all, he confirmed that somewhere locked inside me was a woman named Janelle, a woman who deserved to understand her fate.
I closed my eyes again, wishing they’d leave Sylvia and me alone. I needed to know if Lorenzo had said my real name, Janelle. The familiarity of his voice whispering the name gave me hope.
22 comments:
I love this six! So full of hope and longing.
Great piece of writing. Well done.
Intriguing - definitely want to read more of this!
Nice! Love the voice :-)
Intriguing six. There's a lot going on here.
Her confusion and yearning really come through here.
I agree! So very intriguing! :)
Great emotion, loved it!
Yes, I get a lot of hope and longing from this snippet. I hope it will all come out okay, and soon!
I love the reaction of expected relief to disappointment. Very moving six.
Oooh, intense and intriguing! Nice six!
Such a strong six xx Loved it
A powerful, longing voice and lots of conflict and intrigue. Great six.
Love your six.
Intriguing six!
Oh, very nice.
Very interesting. Thanks for sharing!
I was really thrown by the 'disappointment crawled through me like a turtle...' line, 'cause if it's crawling through her (that's inside), it can't also 'cover' her (that's on top). Also, if it's crawling like a turtle, that's a very slow, plodding sensation... which is an image that seems to contrast the rest of the scene.
Thanks, guys.
Ya know, Monkey, I'm not really a big fan of that simile either... I'll have to fix that. Thanks!
So much happening in these six--to a woman "locked inside...named Janelle". Fascinating.
Intriguing six.
There's so much emotion, here. I'm dying to know what happens.
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