The Writer's Voice Entry

Hey folks! Today I'm participating in the Writer's Voice competition hosted by a slew of awesome people including my beloved Cupid. So, for your viewing pleasure, here's my query and first 250 from Duality.

Query for Duality - Adult Science Fiction

If Dima could remember her life, she's damn sure she'd want it back.

The Humani Project's latest test subject believes she's human, but her sleek black fur, claws, and tail make that seem impossible. Her only clue to an existence before panther DNA was spliced to hers is a name-Janelle.

According to the scientists, Dima is the perfect blend of human and animal. Most importantly, she can still speak, making her the lab's most successful Humani to date. But that doesn't guarantee her safety.

Imprisoned in a Phoenix, Arizona lab, Dima must complete the grueling, and often deadly, physical assessments administered by resident jackass Dr. Frederick James. Voice or no voice, her failure means immediate termination. To survive, she must tame the wild animal that wants to take over-only she has no idea how.

When she fails a combat assessment and is nearly killed by her opponent, she's surprised that the project's founder, Lorenzo, breaks protocol to save her. When he calls her "Janelle," she realizes that the scientists have erased someone they knew. She's determined to understand why.

Surrounded by lies and half-truths, Dima doesn't know who to trust or believe. The closer she comes to piecing together her story, the harder she has to fight to stay alive. Worse yet, she's falling for Lorenzo, the man who made her a monster. Why does the one person she should hate the most care for her? Why does she feel the same?

Good thing cats have nine lives-she'll need every one of them to uncover the truth.


First 250 Words:

Claws popped from my fingertips every time I stretched my hands.

It tingled, but didn’t hurt, not like the rest of my body. The sensation was both natural and foreign, muscles and tendons I didn’t know I had contracting and relaxing with the movement. I’d freaked out when I saw the black fur leading to the claws. That was the second time they’d upped my morphine. The first time was after my tongue had brushed against fang.

The steady, faithful morphine drip, now on its highest setting according to the a gray-haired nurse—the only one who would speak to me—barely dented the pain ransacking every nerve, muscle, and bone. Waves of agony rolled from my feet to my head and crashed against everything in between. But somehow it kept my mind safe, stable. Human. Didn’t matter much. Too little information left me with questions no one would answer.

The brunette, a waif in a too-large white coat, had mentioned cardiac arrest. She’d said a lot of other things, too, most of which I ignored. She kept calling me a name I didn’t recognize but thought I knew from somewhere. I couldn’t ask about it, though. The “stress of the procedure” had frozen my vocal cords; however, she spoke like she didn’t expect me to have a voice at all.

They should have just let me die. No doubt it would have hurt a helluva lot less.

Today was Day Four, if I’d counted correctly.

Six Sentence Sunday 1/22

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeelcome back!

This has been a busy week, and I'm anxious to read my fellow Sixers' snippets. You should be too. You can check them out here.

This week, I'm skipping ahead and going to Dima's first experience with lab-mandated baths to prepare for her first public display in San Francisco.

They want to make sure I can't move. Without struggling, I followed.

The woman holding the plastic collar replaced mine with it while the woman with the tazer held it so close, tiny shocks rose the fur on my arms and stomach. None of them looked threatening by any means; they were all slender with long limbs, doe-like eyes, and blank expressions. Probably easy to take down, but not much of a meal.

Oh wow, I need help.

Thanks for spending some time with Dima and me today. Don't forget to visit my fellow Sixers! 

Six Sentence Sunday 1/15

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey y'all! I'm glad you're spending part of your Sunday with meeeeeeeeee. Hopefully it's worth your while.

To visit my fellow Sixers (who are DEFINITELY worth your while) visit the official site.

For hours afterward I tried to figure it out. What did she mean? The wheel of frustration kept turning as I stared into the pond, facing myself head-on for the first time since I awoke. My eyes, large blue cat eyes, swam with the emotions that swam in the eyes of a human. They cried human tears, expressed human grief, betrayed human fears. I forced myself to stare into my face because I wanted to remember what it meant to be human.

An Open Letter to Sean Bean

Inspired by both Death Star PR's open letter to NPH (which is legen--wait for it--dary) and my meanderings around Wal-Mart *time one, not time two*, I started thinking about how much I love Sean Bean.

This actually started Thursday. Talking to my beloved Jan about how Duality has no swoon-worthy men *that I know of*, I mentioned I could make one of the male characters younger. There's a problem, though. In my head, Kiefer has always been Sean Bean, and I find Sean Bean quite appealing.

In fact, if I win the writer lottery and get a movie deal, I want Sean Bean as Kiefer. (I know most of you have zero idea who Kiefer is. Someday, I hope all of you will.)

I'm ready to beg.

Dear Sean Bean,

I know you get this a lot, but I love you. Unlike most 20-something women, I was first introduced to your awesome via Goldeneye. Yes, I have a severe love of James Bond movies, campy though they are, but you... You, dear Mr. Bean, were able to steal my eyes away from Pierce Brosnan *even in a tux!* and keep them on you until you, inevitably, died.

In fact, you frequently portray characters who die. This is unfortunate.

And when your character dies, more often than not, he isn't the villain. This must change.

You see, Mr. Bean, you need to maintain a character who not only lives but also succeeds. One of your better runs was as Boromir. Three movies! Three! That's amazing!

But then you were given the tragic role of Ned Stark. I cried. I did. I love you that much. Also, Ned's an awesome character.

I have a proposition for you. Since the day I wrote in Kiefer, I saw you in that role. I heard the timbre of your voice in his dialog, saw your face in his. I knew you would be perfect to bring him to life. One caveat. You HAVE to be able to fake a French accent. This is imperative. As long as you can do that...

I would be honored to have you play Kiefer if ever Duality becomes a movie. Privileged. Overwhelmed, even. I have no idea about any other casting, but you, dear Mr. Bean, you would be perfect as my beloved Kiefer.

Would you? Please? I know the other books aren't written yet, but...but I want you to be Kiefer. You made National Treasure bearable (and you were also damn foxy). You are full of awesome. Please be my Kiefer.

Six Sentence Sunday 1/8 Sylvia's answer

Happy Sunday! So glad to be with you again. I missed SSS last week. I've been quite busy this month starting the new site, Indie Books R Us, with the awesome Landra Graf. If you guys get a chance, I'd love it if you stopped by.

As always, don't forget to check out the official Six Sunday list here. These authors will rock your socks off.

When we last left Dima, she'd made a horrifying discovery. Today, things aren't looking up. She asks her keeper, Sylvia, why being her keeper is so important. Sylvia's answer...

 Instead of leaving, though, she stared at me, but not with the expected icy, jagged gaze. An unwilling softness and melancholy tainted her otherwise stony face. I preferred her impassiveness.

Finally, she said, in a voice broken by her own burdens, “I think it’s because out of everyone here and everyone to come, your story is the worst.” Then she left.

           The door thundered shut.

Six Sentence Sunday 12/18

Hello, friends! Welcome back to Six Sunday! Please go visit my fellow Sixers. They're full of awesome.

Skipping a lot of yammering to a point when Dima makes a very unsettling discovery concerning one of the human components to the Humani experiments:

Then he yelled James’ name. The rest of his words were garbled, but I knew I heard it. He must be connected to James somehow.

Oh my God, how is this even happening?

Where are their families?

Is this what happened to…me?

Six Sentence Sunday 12/11

Good Sunday, my peeps! Hope everyone's having a nice weekend. I actually have the day off, so I'll be able to hang out and read all the awesome snippets in the comfort of my own home ^_^ 

If you'd like to read along with me, check out the official Six Sunday site here.

I'm staying in Duality for a while (maybe until I untangle and finish Spark). This scene takes place immediately after last week's.

The bang! sounded like a bomb blast. Sylvia clamped her hand over my mouth, but I couldn’t make a sound. I clutched Sylvia’s arm, tears streaming.

Maggie’s rage died, like a candle’s flame snuffed without a care. She crumpled on top of him, a jumble of spider legs and dark, stringy hair. When he pushed her off, he stared at her, wild-eyed, blood streaming from his nose, chest heaving.

Six Sentence Sunday 12/4

I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!!!

NaNo ate me, but I came back. I've missed reading snippets and commenting and laughing to myself when something's funny or being sad for a character I've really started to like. And I've missed interacting, and being among the living. Holy cow, NaNo's a time suck.

And as always, don't forget to check out my fellow Sixers here.

By now, we've had our first taste of real winter in Cincinnati. Snow on Tuesday. Not much, but enough. Oh winter, ye are a harsh mistress...

Anyway, on to the good part. When I saw you guys a month ago, Dima had just witnessed a conversation between Dr. James and Maggie. At this point, Maggie has attacked and knocked James to the ground.

James frantically reached for something and pulled out a small gun. Oh no. No no no no no. “Oh God,” I whispered. The muscles in my stomach tightened. Bile rose into my throat.

Six Sentence Sunday 10/30

Happy day before Halloween! Glad to be back with Six Sunday this week. I missed you guys last week.

If you want to see the super-amazing authors who make Six Sunday so much fun, click here.

Today's snippet follows last week's, just a little farther in the chapter. This begins a showdown between the crazy spider woman (Maggie) and Dr. James (the asshat). "Caleb" is the name Maggie's been saying over and over through the scene.

“Caleb’s dead,” James snapped.

At that, Maggie froze; the rage swelling inside her drifted out of every pore. Her chest heaved. Her hands balled into fists. After a few breaths, little trickles of blood snaked between her fingers and dropped into little puddles on the perfect white tile.

James remained unfazed and started to walk away, but Maggie made one swift movement toward him and grabbed his lab coat, smudging it with red. 

Six Sentence Sunday 10/16

It's the first REAL Sunday of Fall... At least for me. The weather's a little cooler, leaves are covering the ground, and that fabulous cool-scent is tainting the air. *Le sigh* I love me some early Fall....

Glad you guys keep coming back every week. Makes me all warm and fuzzy that you guys want to spend part of your Sunday with me and my weird story. Your comments give me a lot of motivation each and every week...

Don't forget to check out my fellow Sixers at the official site (where you can also sign up for next week!).

Today's six follows last week's, just a bit farther in the scene. Dima's recovering from her fight with the sixteen and asking Sylvia the all-important question:

“Did Lorenzo call me by my real name?”

Hesitantly, [Sylvia] answered, “Dima, I don’t know.” Her words were clumsy. She darted out of the room.

“He did,” I whispered. “He knows me.”

Six Sentence Sunday 10/09

Hello, hello! It's that majestic time of year when the world erupts into a plethora of colors, pumpkin pie is on every menu, and football season is in full swing. I. LOVE. FALL. At least the beginning of it. The part that bows down to winter, meh, not so much. ;)

Welcome to this week's edition of Six Sentence Sunday! I'm glad I get to spend it with y'all, and glad that y'all chose to spend some of your time with me. Your comments make me smile. 

Don't forget to check out my fellow Sixers here.

My nose told me Sylvia was nearby; Lorenzo, however, wasn’t, and instead of the expected sense of relief, disappointment crawled through me like a turtle, covering every part of me. He’d saved me, like Jasper had wanted to, and I wanted to thank him. Most of all, he confirmed that somewhere locked inside me was a woman named Janelle, a woman who deserved to understand her fate. 

I closed my eyes again, wishing they’d leave Sylvia and me alone. I needed to know if Lorenzo had said my real name, Janelle. The familiarity of his voice whispering the name gave me hope.

Six Sentence Sunday 10/02

This is me on muscle relaxers

Welcome to another (a)rousing rendition of Six Sentence Sunday! I'm pleased as punch to be back with you guys this week after last week. Oy. The good news is that I'm feeling a lot better, so it won't take me half the week to catch up on posts *yay*! So, onward to this week's post! As always, please spend some time with my fellow Sixers. These are some talented peeps who blow my mind every week!

This week, I'm skipping to the end of Dima's fight with the sixteen because this is the opening to bigger and more important things in Dima's existence as a Humani. She's just been thrashed by the sixteen and is getting some unexpected help.

I felt like a doll tossed around by a rabid dog.

My spine tingled. Arms wrapped around me, perfectly imitating the snake’s body without the pressure. I opened my eyes enough to see Lorenzo by my side. “My God,” he whispered, “I’m sorry, Janelle. I’m so sorry.”

*Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnnnnnn* 

Six Sentence Sunday 9/25

Happy Sundog everyone! This week, I'm spending mine on an impromptu visit to my parents', so I'm going to be covered in sundogs of my own. ^_^ I'm honored and humbled by the fact that you're spending part of your day with me. It really means a lot.

So please go spend some time with my fellow Sunday Sixers. You'll be hard-pressed to find a more talented group of people, I assure you.

This week's six is the description of the sixteen, the python/black widow hybrid that's Dima's last hurdle to getting out of that stupid endurance challenge unscathed. It's not going to be easy, though.

Its neck had to be at least seven feet in length, maybe more, and led up to a snake head with eight beady eyes, two of them slit; the others were pitch black and clustered in the center of its head. Two spider-pinchers rested in the corners of its jaws, which it unhinged to let me see the extent of its bite. It’d be able to swallow me whole. Hooooly shit.

Its body was a spider’s thorax, with eight leathery legs attached to a body covered in dark greenish-gray scales. The crimson hourglass marking its back was so vibrant it almost glowed.

World-building - Science Fiction

I'm gonna try to cover this. It's a large topic and can become incredibly intricate. So, that being typed, I'm going to share with you my experiences world-building my science fiction and fantasy ideas and *in theory* how to bring your worlds to life. Today, I'm going to cover science fiction. Next time, I'll cover fantasy.

When I started writing Duality, I had in mind this almost dystopic setting where there were 5 major cities--the locations of the 5 laboratories--and everything else had just gone to crap. For my world's purposes, science had replaced religion as the opiate of the masses, and the government invested more in the labs than in its citizens. Because the action takes place mostly in the labs, I had to include this information in spurts, but avoid "As you know, Bobs," which was especially tricky given my MC's amnesia. So a couple of things Dima asks about, and I have a few opinionated secondary characters. I try not to info-dump.

For example, there's a scene where Dima's watching the lab workers unload cargo for the next round of experiments. As the workers unload the human components, she spots a stringy-haired kid in ratty clothes, covered in dirt:
"He was a gutter-rag, a kid who lived on the outskirts, not in one of the major cities. He represented the most impoverished section of America, and now he was being led like a lamb to slaughter."

She doesn't go into a diatribe concerning which cities were the major ones (because she might not remember), but she gives you enough insight into how the people who live outside those major hubs are treated (like they don't even matter). Here's a second example:
The PTSD. The missing leg. His desert-scented fear… The Oil War. The government had thrown him into a useless battle with the Saudi nation for garbage oil that couldn’t even be refined effectively enough to pad the country’s thinning supply. Even though it had ended years ago, he looked like he was still in it.

She doesn't discuss how the War started or ended, only that it occurred and had affected the person she's thinking about.

In other parts of the story, Dima might be testing her memory, thinking about what she might or might not remember. It's possible to weave in bits of history creatively without it being overbearing. What I try to do is focus on my world as my MC knows it rather than as an outside observer. That helps to avoid info-dumps and "As you know, Bobs."

But how do you know what to explain to your audience and what not to? That primarily depends on your main character. Is your MC an alien in the world you've created? If so, then he's not going to know much about what's going on, and in informing the MC, you inform your audience. One of the best examples of this is the Syfy series Eureka, which follows Sheriff Jack Carter as he tries to maintain peace in a town of super geniuses building stuff for the government. Here's one of the more entertaining quotes showing what I mean:

Allison: Now that we are involved I had to file an IA248 with the DOD
Jack: IA??
Allison: It's the form required for our intimate alliance.
Jack: There can't be a form for that!

See what I mean? Jack doesn't know what an IA is, and Allison tells him without giving too much info, like why the form is required or when the forms first came into use. Just enough info to answer Jack's question.

The thing to remember about world-building is that, even though we as the writers need to know EVERYTHING about the world we're constructing, the readers DON'T. The information they need should be given in context with the characters and situation.

If you guys have questions, leave them in the comments, and I'll try to answer them in the next post.

Six Sentence Sunday 9/18

Hello again! Thank you for spending part of your Sunday with me. I appreciate the support and comments. Sunday is my favorite day of the week just because I know I get to spend it with some super-talented writers!!! 

Still in Duality this week, and probably will be for a while. Today picks up after last week's, with Dima's anticipation for her opponent.

The sixteen, the python/black widow hybrid was my last opponent.

Scratching and hissing at the door sent waves of fear down my spine to my tail. I bristled so hard it hurt. My claws dug into the floor; my heart pounded in my ears; every drop of blood rushed through my trembling body. 

The door slid open. I vomited, shaking and coughing so much I nearly collapsed. 

Six Sentence Sunday 9/11

Good Sunday to you all, and thank you for joining me. I know we all know what today is, and I hope we'll each take some time out to think of the men and women who lost their lives today and those who risked everything to help whomever they could however they could.

And as always, thanks for joining me every Sunday. It brings a lot of joy to my heart to know you guys come back week after week and gives me a little more hope for this crazy journey to publication. Don't forget to visit my fellow Sunday Sixers.

This week, Dima's heading into the last part of her endurance challenge, but something just isn't right...

James' tone had lost all sense of jubilation, but the undertone of enjoyment was still there. “Your last opponent is the most dreaded species this—.”

My eyes shot to the window. The virtual reality hadn’t been activated yet; I watched James and the other man argue heatedly. The veins in the man’s neck popped against his skin. I ignored my Pavlovian response—the budding desire to rip out his throat—eyes locked on his lips. 

That's it for me this week. Thanks for stopping by!

Six Sentence Sunday 9/4

Glad to have you guys back for another Six Sentence Sunday! Thanks, as always, for stopping by and sharing part of your Sunday with me. I appreciate (read: live for) your comments! And don't forget to share the love with my fellow SSS participants. There are some seriously talented people who participate and never fail to knock my socks off!

This week, I'm finishing up Dima's fight with the Thirteen. We're starting to get to the juicy parts!

I jumped back before heavy paws crushed me, part of her skin still in my mouth.

She gurgled and collapsed, eyes glazed; her head crashed to the ground. With her dying breath, she hissed, blood spraying from her mouth and through the open wound.

            A low growl rumbled in my throat, every muscle tense. Wishing James would come in so I could rip him apart, too. Seemed only fair.

Six Sentence Sunday 8/28

 

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelcome back to SSS! I love seeing everyone's comments every week. Sunday is my favorite day!!! Be sure to make someone else's day by checking out the other Six Sentence Sunday participants.

Today's snippet comes from Dima's battle with the tiger/wolf hybrid. We join this fight already in progress.

I pushed her off. Moved to the edge of the woods as she darted into the trees. Her whimpering echoed, but suddenly, the whimpering stopped, replaced by an irate growl. When she emerged again, she seethed. Teeth gleamed in moonlight. Blood dripped from just below her eye.

Six Sentence Sunday 8/21

 Happy Sunday, y'all! And thank you for stopping in on another Six Sentence Sunday. Your comments mean the world to me, and I'm always open to suggestions and critiques. Even if it's six sentences, I'm sure there's something I could be doing better ;)

Today's six is from that same scene in Duality. This time, I'm gonna show you what Dima's up against.

Be sure to check out the amazing and talented authors of Six Sentence Sunday here. They are teh awesome.

My God, she was incredible. Stout like a tiger, and yet sleek like a wolf with a wolf’s head and slender muzzle, which was black. Her delicate, rounded ears peeked through a wild coat of long fur, which was a mingling of orange and gray from her face to her tail; her chest and paws were white, and a bold striped pattern covered her back and tail. Her eyes were large, unmistakably feline, and stared straight through me. Her paws were at least twice the size of a normal tiger’s. This thing was a killing machine, cunning and savage, and I already felt like dead meat.

Thanks for stopping by! See ya next Sunday!

Six Sunday 8/14

Welcome to another thrilling installment of SIX SENTENCE SUNDAY! And thank you for coming back week after week (and harassing me on twitter when I don't post lol). Your comments mean the world to me, and to Dima :-D

This week's six is a continuation of last week. It was kind of hard to choose, especially since I haven't gotten this far in my revisions yet. (I'm two chapters away!) Dima is up against a wolf/tiger hybrid. Gonna test that name already. Hope you enjoy!

And, as always, please check out the insanely talented SSS authors here.

She roared, her voice a low rumbling of thunder that failed to hide her power.

            I loathed the scent of my fear.

            She circled me, sizing me up, and licked her chops. Her growls and snarls didn’t register, so I assumed that she was more wolf than tiger. With lightning speed, she leapt back into the underbrush, howl-roared, and then reappeared in the clearing.

I sank to all fours.