Inspired by both Death Star PR's open letter to NPH (which is legen--wait for it--dary) and my meanderings around Wal-Mart *time one, not time two*, I started thinking about how much I love Sean Bean.This actually started Thursday. Talking to my beloved Jan about how Duality has no swoon-worthy men *that I know of*, I mentioned I could make one of the male characters younger. There's a problem, though. In my head, Kiefer has always been Sean Bean, and I find Sean Bean quite appealing.
In fact, if I win the writer lottery and get a movie deal, I want Sean Bean as Kiefer. (I know most of you have zero idea who Kiefer is. Someday, I hope all of you will.)
I'm ready to beg.
Dear Sean Bean,
I know you get this a lot, but I love you. Unlike most 20-something women, I was first introduced to your awesome via Goldeneye. Yes, I have a severe love of James Bond movies, campy though they are, but you... You, dear Mr. Bean, were able to steal my eyes away from Pierce Brosnan *even in a tux!* and keep them on you until you, inevitably, died.
In fact, you frequently portray characters who die. This is unfortunate.
And when your character dies, more often than not, he isn't the villain. This must change.
You see, Mr. Bean, you need to maintain a character who not only lives but also succeeds. One of your better runs was as Boromir. Three movies! Three! That's amazing!
But then you were given the tragic role of Ned Stark. I cried. I did. I love you that much. Also, Ned's an awesome character.
I have a proposition for you. Since the day I wrote in Kiefer, I saw you in that role. I heard the timbre of your voice in his dialog, saw your face in his. I knew you would be perfect to bring him to life. One caveat. You HAVE to be able to fake a French accent. This is imperative. As long as you can do that...
I would be honored to have you play Kiefer if ever Duality becomes a movie. Privileged. Overwhelmed, even. I have no idea about any other casting, but you, dear Mr. Bean, you would be perfect as my beloved Kiefer.
Would you? Please? I know the other books aren't written yet, but...but I want you to be Kiefer. You made National Treasure bearable (and you were also damn foxy). You are full of awesome. Please be my Kiefer.
