Not so gentlemanly callers.

Y'all know how much I enjoy telling my hotel stories. I have two fabulous ones for you today. A couple of...interesting...phone calls.

So Friday night, my coworker answered the phone. On the other end was the completely hammered father of an 18-year-old girl. My coworker will be "A" and the caller will be "C."

C: A! Do you know my wife [first name]???

A: No, sir, I don't.

C: Are you sure?????

A: Yeah, I'm sure.

C: Really? The name [First name, Last name] doesn't ring a bell?

A: No sir, it doesn't.

C: Well that's okay. I just need someone to talk to me. I'm really drunk right now.

A: Um, well, I'm at work, so I can't really chat...

C: [irritated] Well fine! I'll just call my mom then! You're an asshole!"

A: [hangs up]

Yeah, dude. Go call your mom. Every parent wants to talk to her drunk child. Awesome.


But that's not all! Oh no. I have to share what happened with MY BOSS. Oh, this one's great. Boss will be "B" and caller will be "H" because HE was HORNY. Oh, it never fails to amuse....

B: Thank you for calling [hotel] this is, B. How may I assist you?

H: Hey, B! How are you today?

B: I'm doing well, sir, thank you. How are you?

H: Well, B, I actually have a BIG favor to ask you.

B: Okay....

H: You see, I'm horny. Think you can help me out with that?

B: Um, no thanks. Have a great day! [click]

So yes, next time you have unwanted advances from a horny person, just say, "No thanks! Have a great day." Politeness will confuse them and kill their buzz.