end of the year goodness

or not. that's for you to decide. i really have no idea where this train is heading.

i, for one, am extremely excited to see 2009 go. this has, by far, been the most tumultuous year for me personally and professionally, and to know that i have an entirely new year to screw up fills me with great joy. like always, though, i face the new with reservation. *my realistic optimism takes a while to kick in.* i hate the unknown, loathe it. the last year has made me fear this year more than usual, but i'm still excited. why? because i can already see that the tide is slightly shifting in a more favorable direction.

this time last year, i was miserable. i had a LOT of personal problems, and i had just started a new job. i was stressed, i cried frequently, and i had a lot of unresolved anger.

right now, i'm more serene. i've resolved most of what was wrong, and i'm still trudging through the rest of it, some self-imposed, some not. i'm getting my act together. i've kept my job, and a year later, i still love it. i've whittled down to a core group of people i trust. i'm still hesitant to open myself up to people, but hopefully, i'll get past that and move on with my life. i finished my manuscript (i was nowhere near finished this time last year), and now i just have to work up the guff to write the queries and get that blasted synopsis down to one-to-two pages (oh, and finish that pesky editing). *le sigh* 2010 will be as challenging as 2009, if not more so, but i have the feeling that it won't be as emotionally, physically, or mentally exhausting.

i hope for anyone who sees this that the new year brings prosperity and joy, and that it also brings hope and peace. because while all the other stuff is great, hope and peace are what get us through the tough times, the straining times, the hurtful times. so, here's to a happy, hopeful, peaceful new year for everyone. God bless and have a great 2010!