09 March 2010


i know that it's been over a year since i've seen this guy. i'm in my own relationship, which i've been in for almost 3 years, and i love my boyfriend with all my heart. but, i guess, when you have your first real, deep crush, it stings a little when that chapter of your life closes for good. plus the fact that no one bothered to mention it... when you follow someone's band for 3 years, it'd be nice to know that you're more a friend than a fan, but i guess those years of following them around didn't really mean anything. good to know. but then again, we haven't talked since the last show... i dunno. i guess it was such a big part of my life that it's still hard to let go.

i actually dreamed about the guy a few nights ago. it was weird. he and his mom were at my apartment helping me clean. then the scene switched to my boyfriend's house. the guy was there, and we started kissing, but then i stopped and told him that i couldn't do that to my boyfriend and i woke up. then i find out he got married. i guess this is the reason why i dreamed what i dreamed. weird.

does this happen to anyone else?

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