Still in Duality this week, and probably will be for a while. Today picks up after last week's, with Dima's anticipation for her opponent.
The sixteen, the python/black widow hybrid was my last opponent.
Scratching and hissing at the door sent waves of fear down my spine to my tail. I bristled so hard it hurt. My claws dug into the floor; my heart pounded in my ears; every drop of blood rushed through my trembling body.
The door slid open. I vomited, shaking and coughing so much I nearly collapsed.
23 comments:
I love how you've thrown in character description (for both characters) along with emotion. Well done!
Intense! What a crazy battle this has been!
Very intense!!! Great snippet!
Wow! This powerful - totally hits you in the guts! Great job
Yikes! That's an intense scene! Great six!
Good gods, that's intense! Great choice! :)
~Xakara
A Way To A Dragon's Heart 6SS
Nice! Love the intro to battle :-)
Wow.Intense & graphic. This ms really is somethng!
Great six! Very graphic.
Great prelude to the battle
Nervous anticipation for sure. Great six!
Fantastic six, I'm hooked on this story
Thanks for the comments everyone! I soooo appreciate it :)
Intense and vivid! Nicely done!
Fascinating - I wonder what sort of creatures these are and why they are fighting... Great six!
Intense and descriptive. I like how you combine the description with action. Good job.
oooo vomiting -- awesome descriptive 6 :)
Definitely intense! This is quite a snapshot. Great job!
I can feel the intensity. Way to engage the reader. Loved the six! Great job.
Very nice! I especially liked the last line!
...I was a bit confused about your first sentence though... do you mean the python hybrid is her sixteenth opponent? if so, the second word of that line should be 'sixteenth', not 'sixteen'. Also, need another comma after 'hybrid'.
Or do you mean there are sixteen of the python hybrids? If so, then no comma and 'hybrids' should be plural.
I think it's the former though, rather than the later...
Holy smokes! The tension!
Thanks, guys!
Monkey, the number is actually its experiment number. The python/black widow was the 16th combination the scientists created. Hopefully that makes sense....
Great tension.
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