Finally remembered what I wanted to talk about...

Over the weekend, I received a*nother* form rejection from an agent I would have nuked Paris to work with (and dammit, I love me some Paris even though I've never been). I was sad for a while (two days). And then I started talking about my book with friends.

And I felt a LOT better about it. Because I realized how much I love it.

Here's the thing. I know rejections hurt. They suck. But this is a business. And rejections are business decisions. Much like not getting that awesome job you applied for. A candidate is better suited to their needs, but that doesn't mean you won't get a job somewhere else. A job where the staff is really excited you're there. A supportive place. A place you actually don't hate going every day.

Personal story: In Cincinnati, there are two main publishing houses. F+W publishing (which prints "Guide to Literary Agents") and the other one I can't remember the name of. Anyway, they're both non-fiction pubs, but I thought it'd be awesome to work there, get my foot in the door. Learn about the other side. I'm a grammar nazi. I know how to work with writers. I am a writer, so I understand the inner workings of the craft.

I didn't get hired at either one. And yes, I've applied again. And...yeah...nope.

Yes, I was devastated. What good is an English degree when you don't want to teach or write for newspapers? I wondered (oh yeah, totally just did that). So I had my little pity party. I applied at other places, but F+W just seemed like THE ONE.

After working a few temp jobs, I finally landed at my hotel. And yes, sometimes I dread the act of going to work. I wonder if the guests will be awesome or a-holes. But I can honestly tell you that this is the only job I've ever had where I feel at home. Where my mood improves when I come in. Where people are genuinely glad I'm here.

And I want that feeling with the agent or pubber who picks up my book. I want them to be genuinely happy and excited that they chose my book. And me.

Maybe it won't be Duality. That's a fact I have to face. SF isn't hot right now. It could potentially be Spark. Or TTA. But whichever one it is, I want the person who chooses it to love it as much as I do. Love it more, even. Cuz even though the agent who passed was a potential One, she just wasn't The One. And I'm okay with that.

Quick stats update

OK. Since I haven't done this in a while, I'm gonna just share with you where I am in this whole crazy business.

I received my *expected* 13th rejection last week. Even though this was an agent that I'd LOOOOOVE to work with, I'm still relieved because I've found some places in the MS that need some serious TLC.

In other words, I figured out why The Island of Dr. Moreau is written from the POV of someone not even involved with the experiments: IT'S FRIGGIN' HARD. And let me tell you, writing from someone who now thinks and acts like an animal is even harder. A lot of nuances, a lot of opportunities for cool stuff, a lot of headaches. I'm not kidding. This is my.....6th (?) round of revisions. And I'm still finding stuff to improve upon.

That being said, I'm also trying to improve my word count. When I started thinking I was ready to query Duality, my word count was close to 118,000. Which is way too high, especially for a debut. That alone may have earned me a few Rs. (That and the sucky query that I sent out.)

As of right now, my word count is....*drum roll please*

.....................................................

...............................

....................

..........

.....

111,096.

I have written a new beginning and new ending, cut scenes, cut paragraphs, cut stupidity. This is a MUCH MUCH tighter draft than I had before, and I'm so glad that no agent requested pages because it would have been an embarrassment. No joke.

Now, I must return to my writer cave.

Also, just FYI, there are some fun things in the works. Hoping to get a few newly-pubbed authors to drop by ye olde blog for some interviews (and maybe even giveaways!). I'll keep y'all posted, as always!

Onward. Always onward.

Hello again, peeps. Hope everyone has now fully (or almost-fully) recovered from New Year's.

This will be (mercifully) quick as I'm working on some revisions and need Twitter to distract me. I'm diligent that way.

First (and most importantly) I need to sibling-info-drop. My beloved and beautiful sister has started a blog for her company, which you can check out here. She does sales and marketing in Knoxville, TN. If you're in that area, you should look her up. At any rate, please leave her a comment (cause that would be super awesome), and if you're a business and marketing connoisseur, you should definitely follow her. She's quite wise. Heck, even if you're not, you should follow her. Her business and our business really aren't that far removed from one another. AND whenever we're all published and have to market ourselves, you'll already have some great tips to start with.

Secondly (and writing-related, believe it or not), I had a fun Twitter conversation with a super-cool writer (whose blog you will find here; pop in and say hi to her too!!! [I'm so demanding tonight]) about fear. And, as usual, my head took off with the idea. What if Anne Rice had been too afraid to write Interview with the Vampire. What if JK Rowling had been too afraid to write the Harry Potter novels? Or Stephanie Meyer to write the Twilight series? Honestly. Where would we be as a culture? I know it seems silly to think about even these novels as capable of changing our culture, but they did. Anne Rice made vampires sexy (ok, sexier). She gave us Lestat, who is my person quintessential vampire. J.K. Rowling made LEGO Harry Potter possible and spawned God-only-knows how many people to start writing. Same with Stephanie Meyer (minus the LEGO bit). I mean, you talk about Lestat, Harry, Hermione, Snape, Edward, Bella, and Jacob, and EVERYONE knows who you're talking about.

But what if they had never met print? (No, no jokes. I'm trying to keep this serious here.)

These stories have jump-started careers. Until Edward Cullen, Robert Pattinson was just that dude from HP (GASP!). Without HP, he probably would have remained unknown. No one had a clue who Taylor Lautner was. And let's face it. Tom Cruise was fabulous as Lestat (my opinion, I know I know).

My point here is this: Anne Rice, JK Rowling, and Stephenie Meyer never set out to change our culture or our way of thinking. They had stories that they thought people wanted to read. They had that drive that pushes all of us toward publication, and they persevered. They didn't fold up at the first rejection like a surprising amount of writers do. Heck. They didn't quit midway through the manuscript. They pushed themselves.

Anne Rice on Interview: "I developed slowly and in secret. My rejection slip period lasted nine months with the manuscript of Interview with the Vampire and involved five rejection slips, some of which were just hilariously negative. I just went right on pushing. I think I was fortunate. But I didn't really try to be published until I was thirty-four, and had a complete book in my hands. And then that complete book was rewritten and greatly expanded after its acceptance by Knopf."

We have to keep on pushing. Through hilariously negative rejections, through horrendous self-doubt and self-loathing, through writer's block and endless rewrites. Because we're writers. And that's what we do.

bit the bullet...

and as i expected, mr bransford was a no-go (but he's still awesome). i'm actually glad to have that first rejection out of the way. i'm not having a crisis *yet* and i'm going to just keep working and doing my thing and trying to improve myself and my product. because...well, i'm okay with rejection, but i'm not going to settle for being rejected over and over again. i wrote something that actually has promise, and i know that i need to polish up the marketing tools, i.e. the query. so i'm going to just force it down people's throats, haha. OK, i'm not. but i'm going to try resubmitting to query shark and to evil editor. and revisiting forums and whatnot. i'm going to do whatever it takes to get noticed. the people in my head deserve a concentrated effort, even if it doesn't pay off. i'd rather fail knowing i tried everything than fail because i didn't try enough.

in other news, i'm really starting to love this AVON thing. i'm putting ideas together for some raffles and parties and anything else i can think of short of going door-to-door. *ding dong! avon lady!* but yeah. i just need a boatload more money before i can really get this off the ground. avon has way too much awesome stuff that i want/need to try so i can sell it effectively. not gonna try everything, but i want to have a good, solid understanding of what this stuff does. thankfully, my mom and sister are great guinea pigs.

but i was thinking about putting a bridal care package together, maybe working with some of the area bridal stores. i have a bunch of stuff i'd love to include in it, like bubble bath, perfume, some makeup, nail polish, a footcare set, and a few other goodies. the only thing is that i don't know how to work it so far. maybe a raffle? IDK. i've done enough fundraising in my life to know that things like this would be good, but getting it organized and figuring out how to do it is a little tough. if they'd be willing, i'd just donate it to get my name out there (gotta spend money to make money, right?), and that way i could write it off my taxes. i know that the bridal store my sis went to has a pretty solid clientele.

i also wanted to put together something for father's day. we don't have a lot by way of skin products (which is lame, IMHO), but we have a buttload of fragrances. maybe something like that? i don't have much time to plan this. it's already wedding season and father's day is just around the corner. grr, argh.

all right. off to go plan and scheme. once again, if you want to buy some avon off me, the website is www.youravon.com/cpeace

peace out.

patience is a virtue

only spoken by people who aren't waiting for something.

i haven't heard anything about the query letter from ms. reid, so i'm just going to kinda...well, say "screw it" and post it on my writing critique site (www.penwrights.com - awesome site, great people, been a part of it for almost ten years) and see what they say. i think i've pussyfooted enough.

i'm not even afraid of the rejection. i think i'm just so unsure of myself that i have issues with doing anything new. doesn't mean i won't do it by any means. just means that i'll be...well, something. anxious. i think that's the word. i have issues with new things.

but the good news is that no one's said anything about my being out of uniform today... thank God i left my blazer here....